last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
