Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I met the friendliest cop last night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
