Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize