is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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