This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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