this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
