mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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