Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
soo... how was my night?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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