I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
