super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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