first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
