...so i touched it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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