I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
