ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She bit a glass in half.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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