During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
