bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
