I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
