In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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