Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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