i think my mom watched the whole time
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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