You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
