U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
