the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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