you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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