think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
