doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
