how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
