I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
