I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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