Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Shame - the story of my life.
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