I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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