remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
