haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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