Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
