someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
