I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
