WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
