ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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