I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
