What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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