So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
