could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
