I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
