Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
