you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
