you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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