i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
