You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
