I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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