Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize