i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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