My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
