Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
