Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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