Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously

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(636): View more from Missouri

& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'

(636): View more from Missouri

HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.

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(802): View more from Vermont

shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?

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(515): View more from Iowa

I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.

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(360): View more from Washington

I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.

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(619): View more from California

He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.

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