I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
