I must be too annoying 4 u.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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