Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
