no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
