Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
