So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
