he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize