You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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