is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I would ride that face into the sunset
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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