I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
im holly from the hills drunk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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